Category Archives: humor

Enamored Couple Beer

Like an enamored couple both watched from table distant Lac Memphremagog bathed by last rays of day's bright sun.

Last Saturday ended leaving enamored couple beer, Mr. Moosehead and Ms. Heineken, feeling alone and wasted on
table top.

========================================================================================================
Like an enamored couple beer, Mr. Moosehead and Ms. Heineken, watched from table top distant Lac Memphremagog bathed by the day’s last rays of bright, warm, sun.

Earlier on someone enjoyed their delicious contents leaving them expended resting on the edge of that table all alone with each other feeling empty and forgotten.

Saturday had been an exciting day when they had arrived with many of their friends in those big ice filled coolers eliciting much glee and smiles from people partying.

Everyone was enjoying lots of great food and drink followed by some spirited soccer play while others watched, cheered and clapped with joy.

Children also had a great time playing Frisbee, enjoying being driven around in lawn tractor pulled wagon, hide and seek, and drawing with markers in coloring books.

A truly wonderful time was had by everybody however, just like all good things, Saturday ended leaving our enamored couple Mr. Moosehead and Ms. Heineken feeling alone and wasted on that table.

This is my contribution for WP single word prompt:”ENAMORED”.

Giant Spiders Inhabit Ottawa

Giant spiders inhabit Ottawa museum grounds attributed to "green house effect" from overabundance of Parliament hot air.

Giant spiders seem to inhabit Ottawa museum grounds exciting foreign visitors to Canada’s capital, scientists
attribute this strange phenomenon to climate change “green house effect” from overabundance of Parliament hot air.

=========================================================================================================
Giant spiders seem to inhabit Ottawa museum grounds exciting foreign visitors to Canada’s capital, this picture clearly shows one of those huge creatures halting momentarily to pose for photo-op.

Some scientists attribute this strange phenomenon to a sort of climate change “green house effect” because of the massive amounts of hot air normally produced in Ottawa’s Parliament during whole year except for a few vacation months in summer

This abnormal climate change happening seems to really pick up every time a certain federal party feels entitled to power with the most recent episode happening since the Fall of 2015 and it shows no let up for now.

A leading nature expert has likened the evolvement of these giant spiders to famed Hollywood’s “Jurassic Park” movie, where huge creatures evolve and roam around freely in an artificially induced tropical climate.

This is my contribution for WP single word prompt:”INHABIT”.

 

 

Lied Only Once Award

"He Lied Only Once" award medal newly introduced and given to its first ever worthy recipient, Minister of Defense Harjit Singh Sajjan.

“He Lied Only Once” award medal introduced by Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and awarded to first ever worthy recipient, Minister of Defense Harjitt Singh Sajjan.

=======================================================================================================
The “He Lied Only Once” medal to be introduced by Prime Minister Justin Trudeau awarded to its first ever worthy recipient, Canada’s Minister of Defense Harjit Singh Sajjan.

Canada’s Parliament anxiously awaits announcement by the Prime Minister on the new award to be awarded today then again, maybe tomorrow when the outside weather is sunny.

It is an exclusive award given only to a select very few, honorable, politicians deemed meritorious enough in distinguishing themselves publicly skillfully bending the truth..hmm then again, maybe not skillfully, and doing it only once, just that one time!

Commended with coolly maintaining a calm voice and composure when first asked about the breaking news story by reporters and maintaining it until overwhelming evidence and mass media fueled public anger forces him to admit the real truth about his bragging that he was the architect of famous “Operation Medusa” in Afghanistan.

The new Trudeau Liberal government since assuming political power, has taken great efforts to distinguish itself from other previous, past, Canadian governments during the country’s long 175 year history, trying or at least claiming to try to fulfill their hurriedly made up pre-election promises to be different in running the economy, social programs, international relations and trade, and maintaining Canada’s defense commitments at home and abroad.

Since their first days after being elected, the Justin Trudeau Liberals have also showed Canadians their complete disregard spending our hard-earned tax money quickly even before they tabled their first government budget or had Parliament’s approval to emptying the Canada’s treasury of CDN$2.25 Billions to feed the international Climate Change fund signing the money over during the famous Paris Agreement to allegedly save our planet.

This was accomplished despite Trudeau’s and his finance minister Bill Morneau’s pre-election promise to run a “small” deficit of only CDN$10 Billions during their first mandate as government but only after tabling their first ever budget moreover, the Liberal’s also promised complete “transparency” once they assumed power.

The new re-minted Liberals also showed us they were just the same old corrupt Liberals keeping a straight face flying to Paris on large gas guzzling Airbus aircraft piloted by the Canadian Military afterwards, being transported from Charles deGaule Airport to their luxury 5 star hotels on large expensive limos.

While attending the Climate Change Conference they enjoyed without any hesitation or second thought for financially strapped and struggling taxpayers, first class, expensive, extravagant meals, fine wines, special cute deserts and entertainment at exclusive Chez Maurice on Canadian taxpayers’ dime.

According to press reports, the Trudeau Liberal government has however, been very sensitive to policy leaks about their PMO(Prime Minister’s Office) and the Party’s plans in sharing Canada’s national wealth and resources with their backroom international financiers, close friends, and other cronies.

Take for example, Canada’s national defense and the very recent story about the ongoing RCMP investigation of alleged leak originating with Vice-Admiral Norman regarding a badly needed long-delayed replacement of a navy supply ship reluctantly awarded to Davey Shipyards in Levy, Quebec because of the extensive news exposure this story got regarding the mega-rich Irving family’s behind the scenes influence with the Liberals through Treasury Board President Minister Scott Brison and others trying to scuttle the already agreed upon and signed Davey deal.

The previous Harper Conservative government after much consultation, debate, and delay coupled with budgetary foresight already decided that Davey was the best deal for Canada meanwhile, rejecting a similar unsatisfactory bid from the other competitor, the Irvings.

This important scandal follows the scrapping of the F-35 aircraft order, instead buying cheaper, near obsolete, Boeing Super Hornets after former Liberal PM Chretien initiated participation in the development program and Canadian taxpayers sent millions on it as future replacement for the now obsolete F-18 warplanes Canada is still flying.

The Liberal government buying the F-18 Super Hornets saying these will do to save Canadians money reminds us when Jean Chretien also tried to save money buying those six famed, derelict, ex-British Navy diesel submarines mothballed in some Scottish port for a “bargain price”.

These “bijouxs” ended up costing taxpayers ‘mucho dinero’, being a very expensive problem from day one and claimed at least one Canadian sailor’s life even before getting to Canada.

The latest info says that just one still functions after millions and much time spent post the famous deal however, this albatross operates just barely with very limited ability while another is just a simulator, the rest have probably been rendered for the smelters.

That written about here does not include multi-millions or billions spent on the new immigration saga, fancy Trudeau family vacation trips, cabinet minister junkets, flip-flops on economy and finances, second thoughts on pipelines, and miscellaneous things or even that other famous skeleton in closet, Jean Chretien’s scrapping of the EH-101 military helicopter deal costing hundreds of millions..hmm did I miss something else, oh well that was long ago!

Today’s Liberals follow the fine traditions set by past previous Liberal governments in bending the truth and saving Canadian taxpayers money meanwhile, helping themselves, their backroom boys, bagmen, cronies, and international financiers to Canada’s treasury.

Everybody has fulfilled their wildest financial dreams while in power feeding at the public trough to their heart’s content while real control of Canada’s economy and right to print its own money ceded over to international banks by the first Trudeau Liberal regime in the 1970’s.

Once again Canadians acknowledge and praise our great, new, fearless leader Justin Trudeau for his good looks, social grace, sacrifice, humility, just thinking, and sheer fortitude in fending off mounting public criticism to award recipient Minister Sajjan this new medal symbolizing the minister’s outstanding ability to lie just once afterwards, tearfully and contritely admit the error of his judgement, his mistake, to Canadians.

Sheep Sink Russian Intelligence Ship In Fog Blanket

Sheep sink Russian intelligence ship in fog blanket when spy boat collides with animal transport freighter.

“Sheep sink Russian intelligence ship in fog blanket” said the breaking news bulletin yesterday, Thursday, April 27, 2017, the ship sunk and crew is safe.

======================================================================================================
BREAKING NEWS: Sheep Sink Russian Intelligence Ship In Fog Blanket.

Yesterday, Thursday, April 27, 2017, a Russian spy ship, the Liman, sunk off the Turkish coast after a collision with Togo-flagged Youzarsif H, a freighter traveling from Romania to Jordan and carrying 8,800 sheep.

Russia’s Defense Ministry in Moscow issued a statement later that day confirming the Liman sunk after being pierced through hull below the waterline and despite a valiant effort by its crew to keep it afloat.

All 78 Russian crew members  rescued by Turkish coast guard and are safe to be picked up later by other passing Russian navy ships alerted of the disaster.

Thursday morning was just another day at sea and Boris Badinov along with partner Natasha were in the communications room anxiously awaiting final instructions from “Center”(Moscow Center) finally the message they awaited arrived, it was 13:00, Fearless Leader was calling.

The encoded message was clear: “Don’t keel Moose and Squal!”…Wow, that took a load off their shoulders heck, they did a lot of special training, preparing for months for this assignment and suddenly it didn’t matter anymore, they were going to Syria instead, to help set up better security at those new airfields Russia annexed for their own use from president Assad.

After hearing the good news they both decided to celebrate remembering the Moskovskaya (vodka) and that Amerikanski Florida orange juice they had managed to smuggle with them in their “deeplomatik puch” after getting back from their last assignment in New York city, USA.

Soon other comrades, most of Liman’s crew, were invited to enjoy some “Amerikanski Skru” drink and the “zakuskiis”(mixed cold cuts) that the ship’s mess crew chief brought over from the kitchen, the party was just starting when the ship shuddered hard throwing everybody off-balance some falling down and that terrible metallic tearing sound was heard and then the lights went out…

This is my contribution for WP single word prompt:”BLANKET”.

Aged Elixir

True Canadian aged elixir like one depicted if used for "medicinal purposes" makes pain disappear after couple glasses.

True Canadian aged elixir like one depicted should  be used for “medicinal purposes” only and never abused.

=======================================================================================================
True Canadian aged elixir like the one depicted should only be used for “medicinal purposes” like when you are suffering with pain because after a couple glasses that pain magically disappears heck, it  certainly reduces it, which itself is worth its weight in gold.

Some say if used carefully this exclusive potion may even prolong life indefinitely err.. well perhaps, not forever but then again every little bit helps when you are suffering age it must however, never be abused because it can also shorten your life.

This particular preparation aged 12 long years by the Hirham Walker Distillery before ending up inside this fancy, classic,  decanter with gilded Canadian Club label and seal  designed to improve its marketability.

This my contribution for WP single word prompt:”ELIXIR”.

Devilishly Clear Symbiosis

Devilishly clear symbiosis between lovely Just for Laughs devilette and racing fan during Montreal Grand Prix weekend.

Devilishly clear symbiosis exists between these two lovely visitors to Crescent street during 2016 annual Montreal Grand Prix weekend.

=======================================================================================================
A devilishly clear symbiosis exists between these two lovely visitors to Crescent street during the annual Montreal Grand Prix weekend as depicted in this digital image I took while enjoying the excitement this event brings to car racing fans each year.

The cute devilette is a member of the “Just for Laughs” troupe that invaded the street last year to encourage visits to the great comedy events this company puts on all year-long featuring home-grown and internationally known famous comedians.

If you are wondering what’s wrong with this picture perhaps, fearing your vision may be failing fear not because your eyesight is fine and it’s only some devilishly clever photo editing happening here for effect.

This is my contribution for WP single word prompt:”SYMBIOSIS”.

Evil Zombie Drunk

=======================================================================

A terrified young woman after seeing the evil zombie ran away screaming meanwhile, it got drunk at the all-night bar after entering it and sampling red wine, more, and more red wine much to the amazement of the staff.

You see zombies are not known to be drinkers however, once they sample some booze they are quickly addicted and leave a place only after emptying the liquor supply then stagger out like our drunken, slobbering, zombie, who then tried to strangle a waiter.

These undead creatures wander around during the night searching for food and a McDonald’s “Happy Meal” won’t do because they prefer raw flesh quenched with red blood therefore, you probably will have a hard time finding a boozer amongst them.

Fortunately, for us our drunk evil zombie, after scaring a man out for a walk, wandered out into the street when somebody in their car suddenly smacked it putting it out of commission for good.

That car then sped away after leaving tire tread marks all over it.

Since a zombie culture seems to exist even at WP, as evidenced in the serious list of blogs dedicated to it, this is my contribution, hope you get some chuckles from it!

It’s Not This Time Of Year Without Santa

=====================================================================================================
It’s not this time of year without Santa heck, there would be no wild drinking parties and stuff if he didn’t exist also the economy would suffer because manufacturers would produce less goods and merchants sell very little.

No, the jolly old elf had to be conjured up so kids would get their Christmas gifts and booze companies could produce gazillions of liters of liquor to sell clubs and bars allowing their regulars, the thirsty drunks, get themselves plastered giving employment for law enforcement to
ticket drunks so lawyers could defend them in the courts giving judges..

New York city marketers created Santa last century to sell their wares and he has been a success ever since selling all sorts of stuff to their brainwashed shoppers eager to please their families and friends with Christmas gifts meanwhile, “improving” international banks annual profits.

This is my contribution for WP weekly photo challenge:”IT’S NOT THIS TIME OF YEAR WITHOUT”.

Polls Dogs Much Relish

Dogs much relish polls old Bowser instinctively knows what to do with one.


We all know dogs much relish polls when nature calls old Bowser instinctively knows what to do with one.

=======================================================================================================
We all know dogs much relish polls when nature calls and now American canines must feel like they are in dog heaven with the amount of them popping up everywhere each day which the controlled media is producing to influence the American vote.

Old Bowser instinctively knows what to do with a poll and American voters should take note that a good one provides much relief during stressful times before November 8, 2016.

This is my contribution for WP single word prompt:”RELISH”.

Eerie Night Scene

Eerie night scene on the White House grounds at night under special full moon with familiar faces present.


An eerie scene at night on the White House grounds during a special full moon it seems to be some sort of pagan ritual.

=======================================================================================================
An eerie scene at night on the White House grounds are a concern for both the always vigilant secret service and average ordinary Americans especially during a special full moon that only happens every so often.

Fortunately, advances in modern technology has given us a glimpse at what really is going on secretly in the middle of the night as this image shows it seems to be some sort of pagan ritual

We see familiar faces however, why are they dressed like that and what is that boiling caldron with what appears a death’s-head all about, it’s just creepy!

This is my contribution for WP single word prompt:”EERIE”.