Perfesser Justin’s Snake Oil Cure

Perfesser Justin's Snake Oil Cure magically heals sickness promotes love and understanding.
Perfesser Justin’s Snake Oil Cure remedies everything from the common cold to deadly cancer.

Folks, gather ’round! Perfesser Justin’s Snake Oil Cure is nothing short of astounding. Yes sir, this is Patent Liberal Economy Medication!

Cures everything from the common cold to deadly cancer! And normally its sells for only $$10 Billions a bottle, this time only, we will take 25,000 Syrian immigrants instead!

Step right up!” Yes, sir, a bottle of this magic elixir will fix whatever ails you!

Gather around my dear friends, let me tell you about our cure. Our magic elixir is excellently formulated to prevent loss of appetite when viewing your new Liberal taxes instead it produces free perspiration, love and understanding, and thereby prevents costly colds.

Folks, one teaspoon of perfesser Justin Trudeau’s elixir helps remove sickness of the stomach and severe headaches by being stressed out because of all the new taxes, and it ought to be taken by everyone suffering from climate change propaganda fatigue.

It also relieves disturbed sleep, irritability, nervousness, dizziness, constipation, diarrhea, and it builds up the nerve tissues, gives power to the brain and muscle strength and elasticity permitting you to work even longer days just to keep up with the added taxes.

Gangrene of the leg, this magic potion will clear that right up, absolutely! Today’s special buy two bottles and you get one free.

Folks, formulated from a secret ingredient taken from the snake of the mighty New Guinea Jungle, I discovered it by accident as I lie dying. I have spent my entire life searching for cures from all over the world, I discovered the magical healing power as I lay on my deathbed, from the bite of a hairless tarantula.

The local natives of the New Guinea Jungle use this potion, known only to their Medicine Man, it comes from a rare snake. As a young boy I travelled the world searching myths and legends to find the unknown, never before heard of secret medicines benefitting our civilized society.

My dear friends I have brought to you here, today after I carefully supervised the mixing of the Medicine Man’s own elixir ensuring its quality, I guarantee you, it cures all. You will not be disappointed, I have only a limited supply to sell today, tomorrow I must go back for supplies.

I may never be this way again, so don’t miss out. I drink it every day and I’m charged up ready for anything that’s right my friends, you too can have a envigored, better sex life.

Since this is to be my last stop, I’m going to sweeten my offer, because my wagon moves faster on a light load, by the way, I neglected to tell you this here magic snake potion also works wonders for any horse or mule discomfort. If their leg is sore from a sprain just rub this wonder liniment on and after a night’s rest they’ll be kicking the barn doors down to get to working fer ya.

Okay the deal now is if you buy 3 bottles for a mere $$10 billions a bottle, I’ll throw in 2 bottles free. Yes sir, that’s what I call a steal.

Lookee here my good friends just drink it just like this. It works fine also for the baby’s colic, one tablespoon mind-ya and baby quiets right down allowing you your sleep that’s right my friends! Step right up for the deal of your lifetime.

Don’t be stingy folks I probably won’t be this way again so buy your supply now!

The more media advertisement and promotion something or someone gets, chances are, it’s less of a real bargain or ‘deal’.

You can’t win at the Snake Oil Salesman’s game, particularly if its politically slanted, because that Snake Oil bargain being sold has high finance working behind the scene ensuring you lose.

If you stick around for the pitch chances are your concerns will not be heard instead shouted down by the mad crowd. Then again, if they get you into the right emotional state, your toast, another lost soul bolstering their crowd. It’s all a lose-lose proposition therefore, just walk away from it.